it's heart breaking when you cannot do anything when you know there is something wrong. it's worse when you try to do something but others misunderstand your kind intentions. it is devastrating when people distort facts and mislead everyone. nobody understands you. you start to build a wall around you that nobody can reach into your inner soul. you no longer trust anyone else except yourself. you feel helpless when you cannot do anything. you feel defenceless when people start blaming you for everything. you try again and again to let them know the true you but again and again, you are slapped right in your face. who can understand the pain you are going through? who can be your true friend?
i felt emotional after "the forbidden city - protrait of an empress" play. the struggle for power and love that was going on behind the tall walls that surrounded the city, the heart breaking moments from a mother and concubine point of view, and the aftermath of war overwhelmed me. it always happens after i attend a history lesson. i will be normal when day breaks. =)
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